- RJ Currie, on Steve Nash not missing a shot against the Wizards to become just the second player in the shot-clock era to do so while posting at least 20 points and 10 assists. I once saw Brooklyn Decker in Sports Illustrated in a spray-on swimsuit; even she didn't look that perfect in the paint.
- Sports-related WikiLeaks: 3. Sidney Crosby hates hockey; 2. Don Cherry is a former a member of the KGB; 1. Brian Burke owns the Boston Bruins.
- From Janice Hough: "Another reason to want a college football playoff: Oregon and Auburn will have to wait five weeks between their last game and the BCS Championship. Five weeks? Some of the players will get so bored they may go to class.''
- Jeff Funnekotter, on the wives of the Calgary Flames players selling Christmas tree decorations: "In keeping with this season's theme, the ornaments start off looking good but fall off quickly.''
- The president of the New York taxi drivers' union told cabbies that it is okay to profile passengers and deny rides to blacks, Hispanics and NHL players.
- Currie, after Mike Tyson told Larry King he has 2,500 pigeons: "Or as the New York Islanders call them, season ticket holders.''
- The 2012 Brier will be played in Saskatoon, where Kevin Martin and Glenn Howard will play in the final.
- Currie, on Kris Humphries of the New Jersey Nets scoring eight points and picked up seven rebounds on Tuesday: "Eight rebounds if you include Kim Kardashian.''
- Bill Littlejohn, on a rust-eating bacteria attacking the wreck of the Titanic: "As a result, doctors have prescribed antibiotics for Randy Moss.''
- Jenn Sterger says she hopes the NFL will discipline Brett Favre before his career ends. Have you seen those photos? Hasn't Favre been punished enough?
- According to a study, there is a gene responsible for the behaviour of people who are promiscuous and prone to cheat: "It's commonly known as the Tiger Woods Gene.''
- Rolfsen, after Cincinnati's Bearcat mascot got arrested during a football game for throwing snowballs and resisting security: "It's been a roller-coaster year for feline characters in Ohio, between the Bobcat, the Bearcat, and the Lyin' King.''
- From Toronto comedian Frenchie McFarlane: "The Chicago Blackhawks reported star centre Patrick Kane has a lower body injury, and will be out three to four weeks. The team also said during his rehab he will definitely not be placed on the taxi squad.''
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